Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
