I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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