return my video game
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
