dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
