they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
