Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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