Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize