I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
