When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
