just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
