Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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