so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
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We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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