We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
