I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
