I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
