sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I fill condoms, not promises.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
