The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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