no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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