Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
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My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
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I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
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