1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
