Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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