but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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