your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
