It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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