you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
