honey bunches of taint.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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