In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I CAN MOONWALK!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
