Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
