Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize