Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
