I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.