Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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