I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
