You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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