Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
