he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize