Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
