i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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