fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
