I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
