her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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