i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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