Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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