the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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