Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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