My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
