I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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