piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize