I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
