cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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