we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
