I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
