I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Too much gin, very little bucket
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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