dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
