if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You dont lie about slip and slides
What drink are we having for lunch?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
