you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
