i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
