Define "chronic" masturbator.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
