No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
