i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
