WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
